It's here!!!

Well, this is it!!! This is the week my eldest child graduates from high school! I can't believe it! WOW!!!! My baby, my first introduction into this crazy, wonderful life of being a mom is so close to leaving the nest. Oh! How I can't believe its true. But this is not the only excitement fro the month of May because my oldest daughter is also graduating but actually in June, June 5th that is. Tom and Tiffany are 11 months apart in age. They are called Irish Twins, born within a 12 month period. In fact if Tiffany may her debut 6 hours earlier she would have been born in the same year as Tom. They have been together through thick and thin. They are very close and love each other deeply. I love to see their relationship in action. they take care of each other but as siblings do they argue compassionately as well! they both have chosen the field of law which mom finds interesting. Where did that interest come from? As Saturday approaches I am so excited to go see Tom walk across the stage and receive his diploma. I am so proud of him. Tom had the opportunity, the blessing to play basketball for Oak Hill Academy in Virginia. He has worked hard all year and has had excellent grades. After graduation he leaving for the Army in July. Whew! I need to remember to pack tissues!!!

JonPierre is 1!

This Saturday will be JonPierre's birthday! I can't believe he is turning one. Part of it might be his size. He is a mere 16 1/2 pds at 1 years old. My niece is having a baby boy and I told them I would mail JonPierre's clothes to them. Well I have put it off waiting for him to outgrow his 3-6 month size. My niece is due next week so think I'll just have to send 0-3 months to her. You would think I would have more to give with a one year old. At this rate she might be sending me clothes! JonPierre is a great joy. He is so happy and smiles like crazy. Its very contagious! His two favorite songs are "Found A Peanut" and "Little Bunny Foo Foo". Which we have to sing over and over and over again. JonPierre has recently started to get very mobile. He doesn't crawl, he does not walk, he does not even scoot..... he slithers. Its more of a low crawl- slither action but boy is he fast! Its so adorable. He is no longer a mommy only baby. JonPierre makes sure every single one of his siblings and his father holds him each day. I think he knows his place in the family and is quite pleased to be the youngest of 7:)

My mom would of loved JonPierre so much! We did not find out what we were having while I was pregnant, by choice. But my mom swore up and down it was a boy and she was SO very excited. I remember one conversation I had with her about my pregnancy. She just talked and talked and gushed and gushed about my new pregnancy. My response was "but, mom, I'm soooo tired already and have my hands sooo full! I didn't expect to be pregnant again already. If I'm barely handling my responsibilities now how can I handle another child?" These were my true concerns and I was just so overwhelmed. I did not have a peace about it yet. My mom told me it would come and God will give me what I need. This was the last conversation I had with my mom. She called me again on a thursday and left a message on my phone. On Monday she passed away. You know, God gave me a peace. God gave me strength. After my mom passed away I just felt an extra love for my baby. I know my mom would be so in love with this new life and I thank her for having faith in God and having the faith that God can and will take care of His children. I am His child.

Seasons... of motherhood

Lately I have been thinking about the season of life I am in and the events to come in the next couple of month. Its amazing how different they really are, a contrast really. I have been in this season several times yet still find it overwhelming. I am grateful I have the advantage of knowing it shall past and I will survive. Survive, yes that is what it feels like at times I am doing but that's not all. I am enjoying the moments I have with my family. What season is this? This is the time when I have multiple kids in diapers, I sleep maybe, on a good night 4 hours, I shower when I can, my house never seems clean, a complete thought is a mystery, and it never seems the crying and screaming stops. Friends? I have them, I think I remember their names, Star & Nina, Caliou, Angelina Ballerina, Oh no, wait that's my kids friends they watch so I can get a shower! I may always feel as if I am covered in some type of diaper mess, spit up, or I am a wipe for runny noses but I will cherish these times. If you see me please remember that I once was an intelligent person and my husband thought I was hot. I have been in the Army so I'm kinda tough, I worked in a dental office, and I use to be very athletic. I may never get that person back but I don't think I want to because it would mean I would not be able to enjoy these precious moments with my little babies for they grow up and are gone too fast. I know this because of the future events to come. The end of the school year I will be sending two of my babies out of the nest. They will be adventuring out on their own into the real world. I am sad, proud, and scared at the same time! Have I given them all the tools they need to be out on their own? Did I love them through hard times and come to the rescue when I needed to or when they needed to fall and pick themselves up alone, did I allow them to do this? I am sad because these are my little ones who I changed their diapers, wiped their tears, rocked them to sleep night after night. I am proud because they are both wonderful young people! I see them making good choices, standing up for themselves and chasing after their dreams. They love the Lord with all their heart and I know they will always live for Him. This year I have been getting a taste of what it feels like to let your babies go. My first baby has been attending a school in Virginia for his senior year. He also spent time on a missions trip to Madagascar for the entire summer! We were not able to be in contact with him and had to trust God he was okay. I was wondering did he make it to Madagascar okay? Is he safe? Is scared? What if he gets sick, does he know what to do? When I dropped him off at the airport I was your typical mom drilling him over and over again what to do if he has trouble on the flight, what to do during security checks, keep your money with you and emergency numbers, etc. Keep in mind the poor boy was 18 at the time! He was very gracious to his mother. As he went to school this fall it was so hard not hearing from him. Call your mom Tom! But I guess its true, they'll call when they need something. This past winter break I really had to trust the Lord. I dropped off my baby at the airport knowing most of the airlines were having trouble due to the ice storms. Putting him on the plane I kept wondering if he knew what to do if the flight was cancelled and how to stay in a hotel,remember to have a wake up call, get a shuttle, find his new flight schedules, etc. He made it fine, no problem. Silly mom! I know all of this is preparing me for the day I kiss my son goodbye and send him off to train for the Army!!! I think I might need to invest in Kleenex. My daughter will be going off to college this fall. It may be local but I still will be worrying about her everyday. I will miss her daily hugs and her beautiful smile. She is strong, gorgeous young lady who has a heart for God and I know she will achieve her dreams. I will feel empty without her here and really it seems like my nest will be empty but truthfully it is still very full!!! I will be changing diapers, buying formula, making baby food and cherishing the moments I have with my babies still in my nest while my first two babies will be making their path in life on their own. Seasons change but God will never change. I trust Him with the ones He entrusted me with for after all we are God's children.

God answers prayers!

It has been a while since I have last posted. As always life has kept us very busy. When you last heard from me I was feeling very anxious about spending the holidays without my mother. I will not deny that it was a little rough. But because of God's grace I will have to say we had a wonderful Christmas!!

As a tradition the entire family came to our house. We were able to spend the morning with just us and kids opening presents. I stayed up the night before wrapping presents and hit the sack at 3:30 and woke up at 6:30 to start baking/cooking. Of course Delaine was up right by my side waiting to open presents. Finally at 8:30 we opened gifts. We had a great day. Family arrived around 2 and we exchanged gifts, had a devotion remembering Christs birthday (My dad did a wonderful job), and had dinner. Another tradition is serving birthday cake for Jesus. This year my dad helped me make it. We all gathered our bells from mom and rang them in honor of her and to keep her close to our hearts.

It was a beautiful day full of fun, family, laughter, and remembrance of Christ birth & my mothers love.

If I had known.......

As the holidays approach I feel the lingering doom hanging around maybe even an anxiety of what is to come without my mother. For me every day is hard. My dad was recently talking about having patience to heal. Maybe I am my fathers daughter because I am always hearing how other people get over the loss of a parent so easily and here I am struggling so maybe I'm weak or as my dad says inpatient in healing. I know part of me does not want to heal because then I am accepting my beautiful mother is no longer here. No longer here to encourage me, to love my children, to rub their backs as they fall asleep, to pray for me, to love my dad, or to have Thanksgiving & Christmas together. Instead of having the family over to my house and making a huge Thanksgiving meal this year we are driving to Ohio to place my mothers headstone on her grave. Those words should not be in the same sentence with my mom. My mother died way too young. Its is not fair or right to have her gone. Words like she is in a better place does not sooth my spirit. Her place is here with her grandkids. This year she became a grandma to a new grandson JonPierre & 3 of her grandkids will be graduating from High School. One grandson will be leaving for the Army after graduation, one headed of to college to study law, and one becomes a mother. Why is my mom not her to see how wonderful her grandchildren are developing into adults? To be here and cuddle with the new baby she was soooo excited to see....and then missed. I wish I could bottle her excited over my pregnancy with JonPierre.

I do enjoy listening to a song by Matthew West, Save A Place For Me. It seems to say what I am feeling. I just can not express how wonderful my mom was to me and everyone she meet. Days where I feel I need her most, I find I wonder what would she have done for me to make me feel better. Truthfully it would be...be a mom. She could not come here and physically help me but she would listen to me, encourage me, pray for me, and love me unconditionally. I would feel her hug through the phone. Soft and surrounding with love describes her hugs best. Last year my mother was not able to come Thanksgiving or Christmas because she was sick. I feel guilty for this because I insisted she stay home to get better. I hope she forgives me. If I had known........

Samara's Birthday

Tiffany, Grandma Colette, and Jesse
A very happy Samara!
Samara overwhelmed with joy!
This week Samara Elyana Edith Duquette turned 4!!!!! I can't believe how fast time just flown by us! Samara is a beautiful smart little girl who loves playing with her siblings, learning, and cleaning (of all things!). Samara loves prayer time and when she prays all you hear is "huh...God..." then nothing but whisper. Its sweet. God hears her! She is in love with Toy Story even before Toy Story 3 came out. Samara found one of Tom's old Toy Story toys and the love affair began:)

We had fun celebrating Samara's birthday by going to Chuck E Cheese & Build a Bear on Saturday. Its funny how adults cringe when you say Chuck E cheese and kids cheer! We did have a ton of fun there and Samara seemed to have a dream come true when she met Chuck E Cheese. We have had birthdays there for 18 years now (Tom & Tiffany)! Build a Bear was a ton of fun. Dominique was able to get on of his other bears repair, too. Delaine now has Emily Owl (another Emily name), Samara has Woody Puppy (Toy Story case you didn't get it), Kathryn has Heidi (she was not too impress with it though).We did have to change our plans a bit because we had to go to work for a dental emergency but it actually worked out for Samara's favor. We ended up going to a new restaurant in town for dinner instead of in Louisville where we celebrating her birthday. The restaurant had live music and the kids were able to go up and play instruments and dance. Samara had the people singing Happy Birthday to her and she was just sssoooo happy. It is so fun to see your children truly enjoying themselves! All our kids are growing too fast and as always its a reminder to take a step back, slow down and enjoy your gifts from gone. Before you know it they'll be out of the house! I know, I have 2 seniors this year!

Bowling fun:)

JonPierre hanging out & enjoying the fun.